This is a post I wrote a long time ago. I feel it contains information that is still relevant. I hope you Enjoy!
"the truth is like a lion, you do not have to defend it. let it loose and it will defend itself."
Since I have been on this journey to "self-knowledge" or "self-love" or "enlightenment" (or whatever other words the "conscious" community has come up with to describe this inherent desire we humans have to figure out how this life thing works) I have been bombarded with quotes, blogs, self-help books, and youtube videos all telling me that I MUST discover my "personal truth." Because as we all know, THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.
after reading up on the benefits of doing so (freedom, confidence, no guilt etc - in other words, everything a shot out 20 something black woman would need to remain sane in this world) i was 100% on board. The only problem was that my definition of "personal truth" was vague, to say the least.
at the time my mind conceived personal truths as the beliefs and philosophies that make sense to me and help me navigate life. My personal truths would not be the same as other peoples. this definition helped me to begin discovering what my personal truth WAS but it did not help me much in the department of integrating it into my day to day life. you see the problem was I went overboard (as I do in many other areas of my life I must admit) in adopting these truths. it's hard to live in these truths when your list is 5 pages long single space pt. 10 font size. with so much knowledge available how could I possibly just have one truth??
with so many floating around in my mind I began to lose track of what my truths wore and 90% of the time forgot to use them when the situation called for it. it wasn't until 5 min ago as I was reading "Ayurveda: The Science of Self Healing" by Dr. Vasant Lad that personal truth made sense in a way that I could FEEL. in the book, truth is defined as "being, pure existence." beautiful right? After reading this, it all made sense. as someone once told me, there are many questions that often can be solved by one answer. I do not need a thesis paper length list of truths. I just need to be.
as of late I have been noticing how reactive and controlling we as a species are. Think about how much of what we do is either in retaliation to people or circumstances or to get a 1 up on a situation and bring about desired events. I am 100% guilty of this. adding my 2 cents to conversations so people know I'm in the know (cause id just die if people knew I was out of the loop!), retaliating against people I have perceived as doing me wrong, doing things for people so they owe me one (obligation's a bitch), not speaking up because I don't want people to be mad at me. Basically letting the ego devil on my shoulder dictate my life. yes, guilty guilty guilty.
Think about how much of your own actions are either reactive or controlling.
we all do it. But let's not beat ourselves up about it, we were conditioned to be this way. this "they got me fucked up/ I'm gonna get them before they get me" mentality is treacherous. We simply have lost sight of our personal truth. and now with awareness, we simply must make the choice to change. TO JUST BE. Acting from a heart-centered place of pure existence instead of our reactive egos (because when you really think about most of the things our ego tries to protect us from don't really matter). THAT is personal truth. THAT is the key to liberation.